As part of discussing health care, my interns and I decided to combine and present stories about the stress of growing up as AAPIs.  We thought it might be interesting to highlight some of the issues facing AAPI students.

Many AAPI students face a variety of academic and social challenges which can impact their mental health and well being.  My interns and I had a discussion about the stress of growing up as Asian Americans.  Below are personal stories from some of my AAPI interns.

Talking with the interns about their experiences brought back a memory of my Chinese American friend in middle school.  My own experience as an Asian American student was confusing.  While I was accepted by my peers, my best friend LeWin was not.  The students teased her and called her names.  They made fun of her eyes.  They even cut her long hair while she was walking in the hall way.  The students said that LeWin knew kung-fu and they often took turns fighting her to see who could win.  They never could beat her, and they never did see her tears. I saw her tears, many times when we were alone in her bedroom.

Piyachat Terrell is the AAPI Program Manager at the EPA.  She works with AAPI Interns on environmental education.

E. Chang writes:

I moved to the U.S. when I was ten years old when my mother re-married
to my step-father. When I first moved here, I attended a school where
the students were predominately Caucasian. Entering into the American
school system, I spoke very little English. However, my peers and my
teachers were very helpful in assisting me adjusting to this new
environment and culture. As my step-father dealt with his divorce
issues with his first wife, he had to declare bankruptcy. As a result,
we lost the house that we were living in at the time. We moved to a
small apartment in a different county and for the next four years, I
attended schools where the students and teachers were predominately
African American. I could clearly remembered my first day at the new
school and what a culture shock it was. Besides from the demographic
differences between the two schools, my personal experience in two
schools were quite different as well. My peers in the second school
were not as friendly as the ones from the first school. They also make
fun of the fact that I am Chinese and different than them. At first, I
was really confused and really uncomfortable by the situation. I
remembered complaining to my mother about it, but she always
encouraged me by telling me that once I can prove that I am just as
smart as they are, if not smarter.

My mother was right. As time goes on, my teacher saw my improvement in
school and she would compliment me about it. Slowly, the kids stopped
making fun of me and they would come and ask me questions when they
are stuck on a math problem. As I moved up to a high school where the
student body is much more diverse, the problems I had in elementary
school seems to be solved. Nerveless, a new problems arises. All of a
sudden, I am no longer the smartest kid in the classroom. I have
competitions, not only with other races, but other Asian Americans who
appeared to be smarter than me. This new situation placed a lot of
stress when I first entered into high school. I would start worrying
about what my mother would say if I stopped bringing back home report
cards that is less than perfect. However, over time, I slowly learned
that there are always going to be people who are going to do better
than me academically and I can only find what I am good at and try to
do the best that I can.

T. Lin writes:

As an Asian American growing up in the south, I would have to say that
my upbringing was a pretty atypical one.  While my parents never
pressured me to become the overachieving daughter that is often the
product of many Asian American families, I still felt pressure from my
community and my peers at school.  I felt a desire to shed my Chinese
roots and become more “white” and accepted; yet I was conflicted
because I was also compelled to live up to the expectations of my
classmates and teachers; to be that overachiever they expected me to
be.  This internal struggle resulted in a confusion of who I was as an
individual.  Since I was only one of a few Asian Americans at my
school, I usually garnered more attention from my classmates than I
would have liked.  This caused me much stress because I realized that
the extra attention was due to my ethnicity and uniqueness, which, I
viewed it in a negative light; therefore, I was unwilling to embrace
my whole identity.  Thus, with the passing of time, an important part
of my identity became lost as I adapted my personality to become more
like my peers, more “normal”.  I became less inclined to speak up and
form my own opinions, but after I started college, I began realizing
how important it is to embrace my identity completely.  I realized how
much of an impact my surrounding had on my mentality towards myself
and others.

A. Tsao writes:

My experience growing up as an Asian American in the Midwest was quite
compelling. Being from the Midwest, the number of Asian Americans is
lower than those on the both coasts.  The lack of diversity caused
many of the Asian Americans, in my opinion, to “assimilate” to the
dominant culture which was oftentimes the white culture.  I felt as an
Asian American moving to Missouri that I had to do what it took to try
to fit in even if it was setting aside my personal, cultural values to
accommodate to the white demographic.  I felt a lot of pressure to do
what I can to try to fit in yet stand out academically to fulfill my
parents’ wishes of me being successful in school.  It led me to
believe that I had to do everything perfect to make them proud of me,
but this caused some insecurity within me in a way where I would
always question and doubt my abilities to perform a plethora of tasks.
 So the accumulation of trying to make a place for myself in this less
diverse society as well as trying to satisfy my parents caused a great
deal of stress on me.

S. Cheng writes:

Growing up in a suburban area, I enjoyed middle school because of the
diversity of the class. My main group of friends were Caucasians. In
high school, I faced an identity crisis due to my class being 33%
Asian and 45-50% whites. Additionally my middle school was split
between two high schools. It was frustrating always hearing about
grades when I tried to get to know other people in my grade past that.
It was also difficult to try and keep in touch with my non Asian
friends because all the classes I was in had predominantly Asians. At
times I would kid myself into thinking that grades were all that
mattered, my parents actually did not pressure me, and that my
routine/schedule for each week was as it should be even if I felt
stressed. Now that I get to truly stick with the hobbies I care about
in college, I still care about grades, I've always been very motivated
and determined to prove I am smart, but I make time for myself and
avoid the Asians who only talk about grades constantly. There's more
than that to life and experiences.