This post is part of a series to publicize the National Asian American Week of Action, a collaborative mobilization with the Asian American Institute of Chicago, Ill, Asian Law Caucus of SF, Asian American Justice Center, South Asian Americans Leading Together, Kaya Inc, National Federation of Filipino American Associations, OCA-Embracing the Hopes and Aspirations of Asian Pacific Americans, Hmong National Development, Inc. and Japanese American Citizens League.

In the late 1980s, my father was able to come to the US from Indonesia through his employer at an engineering firm, and he was then able to sponsor my mother and myself for permanent residency. I was almost two years old. Even though we had only been separated for a short amount of time, I did not recognize him as my father when we met him in the airport.  I asked him who he was and he told me he was my dad.  I told him I didn’t believe him.  Although I always found this story funny, I’m sure it hurt my dad to find out that his only daughter thought he was a stranger. Considering the briefness of our separation, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for other law-abiding families who are forced to separate for years before they can reunite.

Many people claim that immigrants are taking resources away from the US economy, especially when it involves family immigration, but sponsors must sign a contract promising to financially support their relatives. Also, when I ask my dad about our story, he always describes how proud he is that he was able to come here and contribute his skills and hard work to this country. My mother has also created a business that employs many workers, and I currently study at a university with the ultimate goal of helping underprivileged communities in the U.S. We all fill needs in our society.

My immediate family was able to come here relatively easily because of the demand for my father’s job, and we have been very lucky to be able to stay together.  While this part of my family’s story may sound a lot like the American Dream come true, there is a harsher side to immigration that is more often the reality for Asian Pacfic American families. Although most of my extended family on my mother’s side is also here in the US, it was a long, strenuous, decade-long process before they were granted political asylum for the persecution they faced as ethnic minorities residing in a hostile country.

The stress, fear, and anxiety my mother's family went through was unnecessary and prevented them from becoming full participants in US society. Can you imagine living for an entire decade in a different country, falling in love, working, attending school, and contributing to the economy, yet always uncertain whether you would be dragged away from all your hard work at the next trial? This is a sensitive issue, and my father even warned me against asking the rest of my family about it. When I did, most of my family members dodged the question and never called me back.

Still, I am fortunate to have most of my family here with me. We work in a variety of professions that range from working class to middle class jobs. We are able to support each other through hard times, and we are able to celebrate together and share the wealth during successful times. This is much more than I can say for many Asian Pacfic American families, who have to wait 10 to 20 years before they can see each other since they are not allowed to travel as they wait for visa approval.

If my extended family members were strangers to me, like my own father was once over two decades ago, I would’ve lost the blessing of their company and an important safety net.  I’ve learned from my own history that family togetherness is essential for a stronger community.  Because of everything immigrant families have contributed to the US, we should ensure that parents, children, siblings, and spouses are never kept apart for so long that they become strangers.

Stephanie Tanny was a 2009 OCA Summer Intern placed at the OCA National office. She attends Colorado State University and is majoring in Ethnic Studies and Sociology. OCA is an organization dedicated to advancing the social, political, and economic well-being of Asian Pacific Americans.